Acknowledgement
I would like to express my sincerest
appreciation to all those people who have assisted me to edit this autobiography
from the beginning to the end of the written paper.
First and foremost, I would like to
profoundly thank my family; especially my parents who have given me birth and
care, and brought me up in a good environment. Furthermore, I would like to
profoundly thank my American mother, Dorothy Gist and American sister, Karen who
tried hard to sponsor me to further my education. Without them, I would not be
able to attend any universities in Phnom Penh.
Secondly, I would like to profoundly
thank my previous teachers and advisers who always gave me guidelines, taught
me, advised me, and corrected me while I was doing wrong in order to live in
the society, especially, my grand-parents and my neighbors who provided me good
examples to survive in the society.
Most importantly, I would like to
thank to my experienced and helpful lecturer, Sareth Suy, who have provided me with a great deal of advice,
guidance, and the opportunity to write this autobiography which I’ve ever tried
before.
Likewise, I would like to appreciate all of my
friends as well for helping me when I encounter troubles.
Finally, I am looking forwarding to
getting feedbacks and constructive advices from you all.
Phnom Penh, Cambodia, 27 January 2006
Mey Sopheakdei
Introduction
Throughout history, we always study or learn about wonderful
things or buildings’ story and famous people biography. Those wonderful things
are also expressed about the meaningful and crucial aspects of life and daily
activities of human beings, especially, famous people who devoted their
happiness for humanity. If we look into Cambodia a lot of people have written
about Samdech Chuna, Father King Sihanouk, and Pol Pot who created amazing
aspects and strange society in the Cambodia.
Moreover, everything and everyone has their own history, I
also have my own history in which called biography, but this biography becomes
autobiography because I am written by myself. So, what important is that I am
happy to write about myself with what I have done throughout over 25 years.
In my autobiography I will express everything even my
name who gave it to me and especially my personal background, my education
background, my work experiences, and my perspective toward life. As we know
life is important for us taking care. Furthermore, you will learn something
about my personal life and experiences and take it for your own life. I am not
famous person, but what I have passed through over past 25 years, I myself
regard it as the famous and priceless experiences.
1. Personal Data
1.1. Naming
My name is Mey Sopheakdei, a
Cambodian son, and I am twenty eight years old in which I was born on the 10th
of November 1984 in
a poor farmer’s family at Kukrun Village, Mukben Commune, Pouk District, and
Siem Reap Province. My village is located in the northwest of Siem Reap
Province about 30
kilometers. When it is in the rainy season it is full of
water because the Tanle Sap will spread the water during rainy season. I mean
that water is everywhere in my village around one to two meter in deep, but
when it is dry season it is lack of water. We have lack of water for drinking
and for animals.
Furthermore, my mother and father named
me, Mey Sophot but I changed my name after I became a Buddhist monk during I was
living in the Siem Reap town. Of course, when I applied for the Buddhist high school
exam I wrote my name badly which they did not know Sophot or Sopheakdei. When
the result of the exam appeared I saw my name on the list for winning candidates
as Mey Sopheakdei the same name, and the same date of born, so my name was Mey
Sopheakdei since then. It was unbelievable that my name had been changed from
Sophot to Sopheakdei.
I have a few names in my life. When I
was in my village I was called Sophot in which all my villagers have known and
they always call me when I go home. They just know Sophot, but when I went to
stay in Siem Reap town I was called Tang and Sopheakdei. However, I choose to
be named as Mey Sopheakdei and I use this name as official name.
1.2. Position in Family
When I was born I am the eldest child in my family
among three brothers. My younger brother who is living in Phnom Penh and
studying at Norton University, his name is MEY Seynga and my youngest brother
now lives in my own village with my father, his name is MEY Touch. He is a
farmer and works hard in the field. After our mother passed away we lived
separately with different directions. However, I have other 10 half-brothers and a
sister who are my father daughter and son.
Actually, I had a lot of positions in my family while
I was a young boy and living with my parents in which I worked all kinds of
jobs for earning money for my family. I worked as a construction worker, a
farmer, a seller, and a servant for another family. It means that I lived in
another family in order to work for them instead of getting money back. However,
I did not mind whatever I could do to help my family. I worked all kinds of job
as a poor farmer in order to survive on earth. Being the eldest brother, I had
to work harder than my brothers because I was old enough to take care of my
family and my responsibility is to help my mother earning money to support the
family. Of course, my father did not involve working to support the family. He
has another family which he has to earn to support them.
1.3. Family Background
My mother’s name is Houy Voun who had passed away
since 2004 and my father’s name is Mey Sophun. He worked as a primary school
teacher and now he lives in Kuokrun Village, Mukben Commune, Pouk District, and
Siem Reap Province.
When I was a child, my family’s life was absolutely
difficult that is to say “having food to eat in the morning, but having nothing
at the evening” whereas my house was too small to live and at night we could see
thousand of stars because our house’s roof was full of holes, and it seemed to
be in the field when the rain fell down. If it rained at night, we could not
sleep and we had to get up and sat in the covered place.
Moreover, when we wanted to build a house, we just
went to the forest with cart oxen and we cut some suitable trees which we could
use to build a house, but my family has no oxen for drawing cart and we could
not go into the forest to cut any trees to build a house. Therefore, I and my
mother just lived in the old house which used to belong to my aunt who went to
live at Pol Pet.
While my family’s status was difficult to live, I also
had to work hart to help my mother. Being the eldest child, I could not stand
seeing my mother work to support the family alone so when I was free from
school, I always took my time to be hired to get money or helped other families
in the village in order to get income for the family. That time I was around 10
to 14 years olds.
Moreover, my family had some cows which I had also to
look after at the field. Sometimes I did not allow going to school because of
the family‘s status. Meanwhile, my family was a farming family and all people
had to go to work at the field such as plowing, growing rice, and so on.
Even though we were the farmers but we did not have
enough rice to eat because the Tanle Sap Lake was spread over my village nearly
every year, so rice was destroyed by water. Then we try hard to live and so I
always went to ask my village family for rice to fulfill my stomach whereas my
mother went to borrow some rice from my neighbors for her children. When we had
a little rice, we cooked it with sweet potatoes or we cooked as porridge for
fulfill family’s starvation.
1.4. Childhood
My
childhood is a bit strange from other children in Cambodia in which I was born
just three years after Khmer Rouge 1989, so it was hard to live and survived
from war. I never had childhood life task because I always escaped from the
village when Khmer Rouge troops fought against village troops. Sometimes I did
not sleep full night because B40 or other guns were being shot.
When I was
old enough to go to school I did not have chance of school life task in which it
was hard to say because war never ended. However, I had a lot of friends who
went to look after the cows together at the field and sometimes it rained a lot
so we could not go to somewhere, but we went into the forest to hide from the
rain fall. Actually, we played some games during it was raining and we
sometimes jumped into the pond and played together.
However, I
never had close friends or best friend during my childhood because my family
was poor and I and my village children never thought of being friends. We just
lived with independent life in which we went to different direct. My village’s
children’s families were rich, so they could always afford their children to go
to school from one to another and sometimes those village’s children were sent
to stay at the town in order to study for further.
In 1986, my
mother had a baby and his name is MEY Seynga. During his birth, I did not
remember anything because every young, but I just remembered the war at night
between robbers and village soldiers and the war between Khmer Rouge troops and
village troops.
When I was
old enough, my villagers told me that I had an older brother, but I did not
remember his face look like. I lived with a big dream in my head because I do
not want to remember everything. I seemed to live without a father. Luckily, my
mother gave a baby boy birth two years later, so I was the oldest child in the
family I had to look after my youngest brothers and my mother went work as
usual because we lived with nothing. My mother worked hard to feed our family.
Even though my brother was to old young to leave him alone, my mother still
left him at home and she went to work in the field. She always came to breast him
twice a day. Meanwhile I had a huge responsibility to look after my young
brothers. I did not remember how hard it was. I had to cook for my brothers and
I also had to bath my young brothers. I worked hard since I was young.
Everything
had gone extremely fast and my mother delivered a baby girl two years later. This
time, I remembered all circumstance very well because I was a bit old enough to
use my brain to remember. I was happy when I saw my mother gave a baby girl and
I love my younger sister every much. However, it was the same for me to look
after my younger sister. Housework had flown on my only. I had to do housework and looked after my
young brothers and sister, whereas, my mother went to work in the field. I love
my mother very much. She worked in the
field all day and when she came home she still worked for her children such as
cooking and drawing water. Even she had to take the water from the well in the
field about two kilometers she still went without saying any words.
We did the
same thing every day such as my mother went to work in the field and I looked
after my brothers and sister and took care of the house. But, something had
happened to change our lives. My sister started to be ill and both my mother
and I had to look after her. In the past, we believed in our ancestors who
caused the bad things for us. We always prayed for them to help curing our
daughter and sister, but her disease was not better until my mother took her to
District hospital for seeing the doctor. I and my brothers did not go there
with my mother. However, we did not have money to pay for the hospital fee, so
we had to sell some property that we used to have such as land and house.
A few week later, my mother came back home
without my sister and she cried along the way back home, so we recognized that
my sister was death. I was very shock with that information because I myself
looked after her over four years. I used to carry her everywhere in the
village. I gave her porridge (rice soup). When my mother and sister were in
hospital I was living at my aunt’s house. In that house, there were just only
me and my two brothers. I had a duty to look after my two younger brothers
again.
In 1990, my
mother had a big problem with my village men who is my uncle and neighbors. I
did not know clearly about that situation but according to my memory I think
that those people owed my mother’s money because my mother sold grocer and rice
wine. When my uncle and neighbors bought her rice wine without paying mother
over few months my mother told them to pay but they refused to pay and they said
if my mother wanted to get that among of money they would kill my mother. Absolutely,
my mother was prepared to kill in a night, but because we could negotiate with
them they stopped doing so.
Within this situation, I also had
some problem to live with my father when I was young. Even though my father did
not live with us, he sometimes came to our house. Once, he fought me badly. I could not remember
my fault, but I remembered the situation that my father fought me. I ran to
everywhere in my village in order to escape from my father, but he still
followed my behind. I decided to run to Wat in order to hind him. However, I
was still afraid of him, so I could not hide there so long and I decided to
leave that place. Later on I decided to run to my house to seek helping from my
mother because she was in the house. When I started running and going I met my
father on the way. Meanwhile I ran
extremely fast to reach the house and he followed to the house, but I climbed
up into the house and hide him behind my mother. I thought he fought me to dead
according to that situation if I could not escape from him because he followed
behind everywhere. When I was in the
house my mother did not allow my father climbed up into the house, so he went
to my half-mother’s house.
After my mother came back from taking
care of my sister, we changed to live in my aunt’s house and my previous house
and land were sold to my neighbor. I did not know this information clearly, but
my relatives always told me that my aunt had sold my previous house and land. When
I heard this I kept quiet because I do not want to have any trouble with her. I
did not also ask my mother about this case while she was alive. Since then I
never go into my previous land and house, but I just went around and see what
had happened there. I miss everything I had done there with my mother, brothers
and sister. When I go to my home village I take sometimes to visit there. Everyone
never knows my thought and remember of the place where I was born.
I lived difficultly with my mother
and brothers in my aunt’s house. We sometimes did not have rice to eat because
our planting rice was destroyed by Tanle Sap water during rainy season. My
mother borrowed a number of sacks of rice from my neighbors every year and she
promised to return a double of rice for them after the harvest season. However,
when we could not have rice to harvest, our neighbors asked us to return them
rice, but we said we did not have rice this year because Tanle Sap water
destroyed our rice and we did not have rice to harvest, so we promised them
again to triple both rice and its interest. Some years when we grew enough rice
to harvest, we pay all to our neighbors. During the rainy season, we did not
have rice to eat again because we did not leave rice.
My mother never had time to relax after
the season of growing rice she plant some kinds of vegetable to sell for our
neighbor to get more income. When the vegetable was old enough to harvest, my
mother harvest it and I had obligation to sell. I walked from door to door in
order to sell that vegetable. Sometimes I exchanged my vegetable with rice. If
my neighbors said they did not have money I would say rice was ok. I always
walked to other village if I could not sell all my vegetable and sometimes I
slept at another village to exchange my vegetable with rice. Why did I have to
sell vegetable? I did not have any sisters in my family, so I had to do all
duties.
Besides growing vegetable, my mother
also made Nombanhchuk “noodle rice cake” and I also had duty to sell this. Until
now my neighbors always say about my mother’s skill in making Nombanhchuk. They
liked it every much. Sometimes I did not need to go to sell it because my
neighbors came to have it all. It was the same of vegetable that I had to sell
to my neighbors if there was some left. I sold both vegetable and Nombanhchuk
every day until I was old enough to work in the field.
When I was 14 years old, my aunt who
is my neighbor taught me how to grow rice. I went to learn with her at her work
place. I worked all day and I just got 1500 riel per day. I did not have chance
to go to school. Actually, my aunt wanted me to help my mother working to get
income because she saw that my mother was working hard to survive and my mother
also wanted me to learn to work because she thought that if I could work I
would be a fruitful resource to help her to earn income. I went to field every
day, seven day a week. When I had learn a whole year and got to know how to
grow rice.
After rainy season, we started to
grow vegetable again. After the vegetable harvest, it is time to harvest the
rice, so we spent nearly two months to harvest. I also had to learn how to
harvest the rice. I was taught by aunt again. I love my aunt every much and she
also love me. When I go back home she always come to visit me. She knows how
hard I was when I was young. I went to harvest for other’s rice instead of
paying back money
After the rice harvest season, I and
my mother had another job in the jungle. We went into the jungle to harvest the
thatch in order to cover our house’s roof. We spent there over 15 days to
harvest the thatch. Then I and my mother asked my neighbor to drive my thatch
home. When the thatch was brought to my house, thatch had to be prepared to be
section and section. After we did that, we took it to cover our house’s roof.
I had worked in the field over four years
and I also know all kinds of farmer’s work. My mother depended on me to grow
rice. Sometimes I had to get up around
four o’clock in the morning to go the field in order to plow the rice field. It
was ashamed that our family used cow to draw the ox-cart instead of oxen and whereas,
my village people they used oxen to do the farm work. I did not know where my
school was because I was busy with helping my mother to work in the field. I
forgot that I was young and I needed to get good education, but because of my
family’s difficulty I had to work hard and helping my family. I could not stand
seeing my mother suffer alone.
However, I
fell in love with a neighboring village girl, but she did not know she was
loved by me and I also never told her about. I love her alone. When I saw her
my heart beat faster than usual and my body was shook. Two years later, I saw
her had a baby and I did not when she got marry.
After
I worked hard in the field over 4 years my father wanted to be ordained in
order to start my education again, but my mother disagreed because nobody
helped her working in the field and earning money to support money. However, my
father always practiced what he had said. I was sent to live Wat for a few
months before ordination ceremony was held. Moreover, I was ordained to be a
Buddhist monk in Wat Trakiet in early 2000.
1.5. Nightmare Journeys
In my life,
there are many strange things happen and actually, I had a nightmare trip when
I was living with my parents. My trip was started when I went to the jungle with
my father to seek for fire wood. In the morning I and my father prepared food
and water for our day time in the forest. My father drove the ox cart to the
forest and I sat behind him on the cart.
During the
day at the forest I had duty to look after the oxen and my father went to find
fire wood at the forest. My father went into the deep jungle and cut fire wood
there in which it was located about half kilometer from where we had stopped
the ox cart. When my father went back to the stopping place I was told to cook
lunch. During cooking lunch my father brought some fire wood and I prepared our
lunch. After lunch I was told to bring our oxen to a pond in order to let the
oxen drink the water. Actually, we had a bit rest after lunch.
At the afternoon,
I and my father picked the fire wood up into the ox cart after my father had
brought all fire wood which he had cut in the jungle. It was a hard day for us
because I did not have enough energy to do that kind of work. When I and my
father put the fire wood fully on the ox cart, I went to take our oxen in order
to draw the cart back home.
While I and
my father drove the ox cart back home we were stopped in the middle way. In
that moment we just recognized that they were thieves and they came to steal
our oxen. So, we were forced to provide them our oxen and we had to follow
them. We were afraid of them because they had gun in their hands and we did
nothing. We just let everything gone. However, the old village man came after
us a few minutes, but his oxen were not stolen because oxen were fought and
those oxen ran away.
I and my
father lost our oxen in which we could not do anything because the thieves had
guns in their hands. Moreover, the thieves also forced us to guide them back to
the forest. We did not want to follow what they told but we were afraid of
their gun because they pointed their gun on our heads. Whereas the old village
man arrived the village he told our family about us who were forced and stolen
the oxen. My family went to meet the chief villager and police in order to ask
for help from those people. However, we lost our oxen and we could not find.
2. Education
2.1. Buddhist
Primary School
In 1992 my family sent me to my village primary school
which located around a kilometer from my house. When I attended school, I was
always absent because I had to work for family’s income and looked after the
house and my younger brothers because my mother went to work at the field until
dark, she came back.
Of course, my grade was not good and some year I had
to repeat class. In that time, all teachers were cruel because they just
emerged from Khmer Rouge. They fought students badly and they did not give
reason of lessons while students did mistakes. I was fought every day until I
was afraid of school, but my mother always forced me to go to school.
Even though, Cambodia went away from Khmer Rouge over
a decade, country was still disorder and war still had in the northwest of the
country. There were rubbery and fighting everywhere especially at night time.
Sometimes I could not sleep for nights because forest troop and government
troop fought to each other and I also could not go to school. I can say that
one day present and one day absent for school day.
My village could not cultivate rice because everywhere
was full of mind and they could eat rice half of a year and another part, they
found other tree’s root to fulfill their stomach. That means that they cooked
rice with sweet potatoes or something else to eat.
When my two younger brothers were old enough to go to
school, my mother did not let them go, due to our lack of money. There were not
only my brothers, but village children also could not go to school because of
family’s status. They all lived under breadline and they never knew the important
of education.
However, my brother insisted my mother to let them go
to school until our mother agreed with what they needed, so my mother had to
work harder to earn for buying books, pencil, chalk and chalkboard for them and
I also worked to help my mother.
Besides working as a farmer, my mother also took time
to grow plants and vegetable on vocational season. I had to get up early to
water those vegetables by carrying water from the pond near there. When the vegetable and plants were grown and
it also a suitable time for cutting, my mother cut them and I also carried them
to sell from one village to another. Sometimes, we exchanged them with rice
when we did not have rice to eat.
Actually my father has two wives, so he never took
care of my family and he rarely came to my family. Plowing and growing rice
were my mother’s obligations and I just helped her in some points which for
young child as me.
In 1997, I still studied in my village school, at
grade 5, but that school just had primary classes. So that time, I passed to
study at grade 6 in
which I had to study at another school which was located 3 kilometers from my
village. It was difficult for me because I had no bike cycle and my family
could not afford me. Actually, my mother wanted me to help her in the field to
harvest because meanwhile it was on time for harvest season.
Therefore, I had to stop studying. Since then I was a
young farmer and I had to work hard as my mother from morning to evening at
field. In contrast, my father never took time to think of my family’s life and
he also was a primary school teacher, but he never supported us. However, he is
my father who gave me birth and I have to be grateful and thankful to him. From
year to another, I worked so hard to survive myself and family.
In early 2000, my father thought that he did not want
me to follow his footstep as living in a poor family, so he wanted me to be
ordained and studied at Buddhist School.
My mother also agreed with this opinion in which she did not want me to
be like her and lived in poverty and suffers. Then they went to ask the chief
of my own wat monks who looked after the community to allow me to stay and be
ordained as a novice monk. Before I was ordained, I had to study some basic
Buddhism disciplines and teachings. I tried to memorize Buddha’s teachings day
and night non-stop and a few days later I had ten friends who also wanted to be
ordained. We lived and studied together until we were agreed to be ordained.
A few months later, we held a Naga ceremony in which
we invited the chief of District Buddhist monk to ordain us at my own Vat. Then
I became a novice monk and practiced Buddha’s teachings. Actually, my parents
wanted to leave my own Vat to study Pali at Pali school (Buddhist School),
which is located in province center Vats, so I had to study hard and memorized
what the chief monk told me. Of course, I had to be clever and smart in order
to please my parents and chief of monk to allow me to go away to seek
knowledge. I did not want to waist more time at my own Vat, so a year was over
I started to ask my chief monk to let me leave, but he did not allow me because
he thought it was not a right time. Even though, he did not allow I still ask
him again and again until he said OK. Actually, I just had 30000 riel in my
pocket when I first lived in Vat Damnak and my parents did not have money for
me because they were poor.
In the early 2001, I and my father hired a motor diver
to drive us to the town in order to ask a place for me to stay and study.
Actually, we went straight to Vat Damnak and asked the chief monk there for a
place to study because Wat Damnak just opened the new class (first grade,
primary school) for Buddhist monks came to study, but he did not agree to
accept me to live there and he appointed my father to meet Pali teacher if he
accepted me, I could live and study in Wat Damnak. Fortunately, Pali teacher
also needed some more study to study in new class and he also allowed me to
stay and study. Since then I stayed and studied at Wat Damnak nearly 9 years.
When I am allowed to stay and study in Vat Damnak, I
was extremely happy, and it was pleased to my heart, but I was so little young
novice monk and I also had to study some Buddha’s teachings which were used and
recited in that area. I just spent around two months in memorizing Dharma and I
also memorized some Pali grammar before the class was started because I could
understand some point when the teacher explained. While studying Pali, I was
not so good at Pali and some other subjects because I did not even know how to
spell and write some technical term in Khmer or Pali. So, it made me so hard to
read and memorize those technical words.
I never thought of my health because I wanted to
success in study. We studied two times a day morning and afternoon, so it was
full of homework and new lesson to memorize. While I was in Vat Damnak, I was
not allowed studying other foreign language beside Pali and other school
subjects, so I had a few free times and I hired math teacher to teach math
because I needed to know math for Buddhist school exam.
In early 2003, I asked my Pali teacher to let me to
apply for exam to get Pali primary school certificate because I studied there
for two year already. Of course, until we had to study at Pali primary school
for three, they would be allowed to apply for exam, but for me I could do all
exercises which the teacher gave to me, so I was allowed to apply for exam and
my other friends also were allowed. When the exam day arrived, I and my friends
went to sit for exam at Vat Bo Buddhist High School in which the exam took two
days and half.
2.2. High School
2.2.1. Junior Buddhist High School
In early 2003, I asked my Pali teacher to let me to
apply for exam to get Pali primary school certificate because I studied there
for two year already. Of course, until we had to study at Pali primary school
for three, they would be allowed to apply for exam, but for me I could do all
exercises which the teacher gave to me, so I was allowed to apply for exam and
my other friends also were allowed. When the exam day arrived, I and my friends
went to sit for exam at Vat Bo Buddhist High School in which the exam took two
days and half.
Even though, I could go to school there were a lot of
issues happened to my life. I was lack of documents to do research, and I
always lived in pressure. Fortunately, I passed the Buddhist Primary School
exam in 2003, and I prepared myself for seat-exam which we have two exams for
one level to another. Then I applied for seat-exam, and maybe a month later the
exam date came, so I went to sit for exam. A few weeks later, the result came
out with my name on the list in which I passed the exam and I could go to study
at Buddhist Secondary school at Vat Bo Buddhist
School.
My life started more meaningful but harder because I
had to walk to study at Vat Bo and I always had chance to seek more knowledge
in other languages. I studied English 5 hours a day since early morning until
night. This time I never worried much about, but what I worried is my study. Of
course, I never wasted my time thinking other things beside my lessons. I read
and memorized my lessons everyday and I learnt until later at night. I studied
at Buddhist Secondary school for 3 years in which it
was not so long and it was on time for another exam.
Unfortunately
in 2004, after I was at second years at Buddhist Secondary School which equal
to grade eight at state secondary school, my mother had passed away. I did not
know when she had gone away from me and I also knew what kind of disease she
got because I was at Wat Damnak. In the morning I went to study as usual and
when I was ready to enter the class, my village man called my village name and
asked me to go home. In that time I asked him what happened and why I had to go
home. He replied me with sock voice that my mother had died. When I heard that
voice, my leg softened and I could not think anything at all. My heart bitted
faster and faster in which I could not move for a while. Then I walked slowly
and slowly to motorbike and asked him to drive me to Vat Damnak. I did not tell
anyone in Vat Damnak about my mother. I started to lose my hope and sense in
trying to live on this earth. I went into my room around five minutes and left
and then the motor driver drove me to Pouk District because Pouk District is
located along the way to my home and my brother also stayed and studied there.
While later I met my brother and asked him to go home,
but he did not want to go because his clothes were wet and he had no clothes to
wear. Even though he did not have clothes to wear, I still forced him to go. My
brother also asked me why I and he had to go home. I did not tell him yet, but
my heart bitted me harder and harder and my tear dropped down with recognizing.
When he was ready to go, the driver drove along the number 6road to my village.
My tear continued to drop down since we left my brother place until we nearly
arrived and we started hear the funeral music; my brother knew that someone in
my family died.
When we arrived home, I could not hear anything and my
legs and arms soften and fell down on the earth, but someone came and carried
me and I tried to walk to my house. I entered into my house and saw my mother’s
body laid on the mat which covered by blanket and mosquito net. I sat nearly my
mother’s body and looked at her face and body which made my heart bite faster
and faster. I could not help stopping my tear dropping down.
At the afternoon, the villagers had arranged the
funeral procession and my mother’s body was not kept in my house so long and was
taken to the cemetery which located in the eastern of my own Vat. My mother’s
body was devoted and a few hours later my mother’s body was gone and just left
some bones with ashes on the earth.
While my mother’s body was burning I also sat near there. We picked some
of my mother’s bones and put them into a basket with the banana leaf and took
those ashes and bones to our house for a night. In the morning we continued to
hold the funeral and invited some Buddhist monks to take food at our house, and
funeral was ended after the Buddhist monks finished their lunch at 11: 30
AM.
After the funeral was finished we took my mother bones
and ashes to bury at Vat campus in which we invited Buddhist monks to recite
the Buddha’s Dharma which said about cycle of life. Then we went back to our
house, we sat together with our relatives and neighbors talking about my
mother’s disease. I just listened whatever they said, but I thought that my
mother died because nobody looked after her while she was sick. Also, I could not
take care of her and stayed closely to her while she was not well and ill.
While I was listening to my relatives’ and neighbor’s words, I was painful
because nobody knew and stayed with my mother when she nearly passed away.
However, I kept quiet and listened to them talking until late at night.
I could not sleep, and I walked out alone to sit in
the quiet dark night. I left nothing to say in that time. I kept quiet and I
looked like a person who was disorder mental. I thought that I was an
ungrateful and unthankful child because I could not take care and look after my
mother while she was sick. I thought and thought about what mean of my study. I
used to live with my beloved mother who had taken care of me and fed me every
day and while she was sick I could not stay closely to her and heard a few
meaning words. I could not listen to my mother’s last words.
I stayed at my home village for a few days to calm my
mind down before I came back to Vat Damnak and continued my study with
hopeless. During those days, I never talked to anybody in my village, but I
just listened to them talking about my mother’s disease condition in which
nobody took care of my mother and my mother also was left alone in the house.
Even though my father also lived and stayed in that village, he never thought
of caring of my mother because my mother was a strong woman. She worked very
hard and never said it was hard for her.
Since I lived with her I never heard she said tired or
exhausted. She worked at the field all day and when she came back home she
continued doing housework such as cooking or drawing water from the pond and so
on. These are her gratefulness and thankfulness for me to fulfill her purpose
and goal in which she wanted me to study and success in life. One thing that made
me sock and regret is that she wanted to see my achievement in studying career
and she also wanted to build her a house after I finish study and have job.
Since then, I never worried of my health and any
suffer in which caused from study; I just kept quiet and strived to study only
because nobody helped me and my brothers anymore. Both I and my brother were
studying, so I was the eldest child in the family had to guarantee and sponsor
my brother in his living and study. I saved some of my money for my brother and
some for my own education in which I got from Buddhist’s invitation to join in
any festivals or ceremonies in Siem Reap town. Before I wanted to buy or spend
on anything I had to think of my brothers and future life. Sometimes I just
drank only water to fulfill my stomach instead of any food or drink. Even
though I was tired and exhausted, I still went to study both English and Pali
school. I slept less than before because I thought that after I knew any
foreign languages and finished high school, I would have enough knowledge to
earn a living and I could also support my brothers. I never thought that I
could go to university or any higher educational institutions because of
lacking of money.
In later 2005, I applied for Buddhist secondary school
certificate exam at Battambang Province. This time was so harder because
knowledge is broader than primary school exam in which we had 14 subjects
include Pali and Sanskrit. I had to hire some teachers to teach me and other
student for part time hours about chemistry, math, and physic that we could not
be good at.
On early February 2006, all students went to sit for
exam at Battambang Province. I had to go there before the exam 3 weeks because
my half-brother and some other friends who lived and studied at Battambong Province and in order to find some
documents for exam. When the exam date came, we sat for exam for 3 days and
when the exam was over; all students went back to their province different
directions. I still stayed for one more night because I wanted to visit some
places in Battambong Province because I did not see anywhere when I had
stayed, but some of my friends took a bus that later afternoon back to Siem Reap
Province.
During living in Battambong, it was so difficult. We
had to cook our breakfast and lunch ourselves. I used to live easier because I
did not cook any meals while I lived in Vat Damnak. I also did not have much
money to spend at there and wherever I went I always walked even though it was
around 2 or 3
kilometers because it is a bit far from my half-brother
and my friend places. I slept with my friend who stayed at Vat Bor knung. Even
though it was difficult living there, I was happier than living in Vat Damnak
because people there knew the students attitudes and minds in which they needed
freedom to act and express.
Maybe 5 weeks later, the exam result came out, and my
name was on the list in which I got a better grade among Siem Reap Buddhist
students. Then I and other students prepared for another exam in which we
competed for seat in the class which we called seat-exam at Battambong
Province, but I and my friends wanted to open class in Siem Reap Province
because Buddhist school in Siem Reap had no class for high school students and
this time was the most difficult decision in my life. We applied for new high
school class in Siem Reap to Siem Reap Province Department of Religion and cult
to open new class for us. If the new high school class was opened, all students
had to pay for school fee because this school was opened for private sector, so
the department of religion and cult suggested us to pay $150 per monk and per
class was 53 Buddhist monks. We all agreed to pay and studied in Siem Reap
Province because we saw
the difficulty to live at another province even though living in Siem Reap also
had some difficulties.
2.2.2. Senior
Buddhist High
School
From 2006, I studied and lived in Vat Damnak until
2009. Even though, I am lack of money to pay for foreign language schools, I
wanted to study another language in fulfilling the social need and demand, I
could just study with Buddhist monks who could speak and teach English every
well without paying money at other Vats around Siem Reap Province.
On the other hand, English is very popular and useful
for Cambodia society. When I had freedom with free time to study foreign
language, I never waste my time, I went to English school at Vat Preah
Promreath from 6:00-7:00 AM, and Buddhist High School at Vat Bo from 7:00-9:00
AM, Computer School at Buddhism for Development Organization from 9:30-10:30
AM, had lunch at 11:00 AM
at Vat Damnak, English school at Vat Preah Promreath from 12:00-2:00 PM,
Buddhist High School at Vat Bo from 2:00-5:00 PM, recited Dharma at Vat Damnak
temple from 5:00-6:00 PM, and taught English at Vat Damnak from 6:00-8:00 PM,
and the rest I read and did homework.
I never had any support from my father since my mother
had passed away in which I had to live by myself. When I need some money to pay
for school I always borrowed my friends or sometimes I asked my teachers not to
pay school fee. Even though I lost hope I also had many good friends and best
friend who always tried to encourage me in building my future life with getting
higher education and I also devote my life to change my future through going to
school.
On December 2008, it was on time for me to apply for
completing high school exam in which the exam station is located in Phnom Penh
and the exam date would be on February 2009. I and my classmates, we all
prepared for exam days with take some times to study mathematics and other
subjects in part time hours with private teachers. I tried to read and write
those lessons in order to remember in which it would be easier in the exam
hours. I also did not know how I could go to Phnom Penh because I was broken in that year.
I never asked my father for help because he also was very poor and of course,
he never took time to visit me while I was in Vat Damnak whereas my mother
always went to visit me once a year on Pchum Ben Day.
Fortunately, early 2009 I met Karen and his mother,
Dorothy with a group of American students who were led by Dr. Tim in order to
study about Khmer history while they were visiting in Siem Reap and helping
orphans at CDV in Phak Sneng
Village, and I and my friend Sokmeng also took time to go there for nearly two
months. We always had talks together about Cambodians and their histories in
which they were just away from cruel regime nearly a decade but civil war still
continued until 1997 that Cambodian lives’ conditions were difficult and hard
to earn living. Karen and her mother, Dorothy are very kind and generous in
helping Khmer orphans to build their future lives with further education; even
though, they are not Khmer they love human kind and wanted to see all human
beings who live on this earth live happily with good knowledge.
Moreover, before Dorothy and Karen went back to their
homeland, I asked them to help and sponsor me in my further education in which
I wanted to continue my study at Phnom Penh that I thought it would be better
than Siem Reap Province because there are many better universities and most
professors who used to study abroad and have broader knowledge, so I will get
those for my future life.
On the other hand, I wanted to reflect my effort in
study in which all my villagers are waiting to see my achievement if I lose my
goal they will not send their offspring to schools anymore, so I have to
struggle hard with study to show those people that education is the best way to
avoid ignorance and poverty.
On January 20, 2009, I went to Phnom Penh for my exam in
which I had not been to Phnom Penh before, so I did not where Phnom Penh was,
and I also did not know how to go there, but I had my half-brothers who stayed
and studied in Phnom Penh. I just bought bus ticket and caught on until I
arrived at Phnom Penh
safely, and then I called my half brother to drive me to Vat Unnaloam. I stayed
in Vat Unnaloam for some days, because the exam’s date was on 2nd to
5th of February 2009, so I could find some relevant documents to
read, and of course, I have known a lot of friends in Phnom Penh immediately. I also never forgot
to email to Karen and Dorothy and asked them about their living conditions
there while I was temporary in Phnom
Penh.
On the 1st of February 2009, happily all my
friends and classmates came to my room in Vat Unnaloam in order to discuss
about the exam lessons because I had come to Phnom Penh earlier, so I knew the
exam’s technique better than them. We happily talked together with some happy
jokes and we laughed happily. Some friends bought some soft drink and other
bought other thing in which we shared together, but my friends knew that I did
not have much money, so they always spent every thing for me. After we drank
happily together two or three hours my friends went back to their places and I
had time to prepare my stuffs for the next day exam.
I worked extremely carefully with my exam paper for
three days during the exam’s hours, but I still failed one subject in which I
liked the most was mathematics. When I studied at Vat Bo Buddhist High School
all my friends and classmates admired me with my intelligence in this subject,
but I sat for exam I had something error with my brain and thought, so I could
not complete those math questions. However, I am proud of what I have achieved
and succeeded in my life. Actually, some of my friend failed the exam in which
they could go to university. They also
had to repeat class, and took the exam next year.
After the exam ended my friends went separately to
their home village. Whereas I still stayed in Vat Unnaloam in which I wanted to
ask for a place to live in Phnom Penh after I
passed my exam and continued my study at university in Phnom Penh, and on the other hand, I also
waited to see the exam’s result. A few weeks later, the exam’s result was
posted on the board at the exam station, so I went to see with happiness. I saw
my names on the list with some good grade and scores and I went back to Vat
Unnaloam. Of course, I had been told the result since the list was not post on
the board because I know someone who had a position for checking the exam
result in the correcting exam station and he called with hopeless at first, but
later on he told that I had passed with no good grade.
After seeing result, I went to ask a place in Vat
Unnaloam to live for my further study in Phnom Phen with my cousin’s guideline
that he had stayed in Vat Unnaloam over twenty years in which he wanted me to
ask venerable Kim Rathana who is the first house keeper. When I went to meet
him and we respected him as our brother and then he let me stay in the house
for my further education, but I had not stayed yet because I had to go to Siem
Reap in order to prepare my stuffs there and told Buddhist monks in Vat Damnak
that I went to study in Phnom Penh. Therefore, I packed some of my books for my
brothers who were studying at home and some for myself which I keep them for my
education.
I never forget to say thank for my American family
(Dorothy, Karen, Susan, Tom…) who help me in my expense both study and living.
If I do not have them who sponsor me I do not know the taste of university
student. They are very kind and generous and I am also proud of myself in being
the lucky person. This is also because of my effort and struggle in living even
though I did not have any support I never lose my hope. What is important is
that I want to change my farmer’s life to be an educated person and I always
think education will be able to change my life better in the near future, so I
try hard to study day and night without tired.
2.3. University
When I was at Phnom Penh at first, I applied for
Buddhist Sihanuk Rach University exam in which that university is sponsored by
state and if I passed that exam I would study free without paying. Fortunately,
I passed the exam and studied in the Faculty of Foreign Language (Pali and
Sangskritte). I had studied in that university only one year in which I also
got the first year certificate.
At the same year, I also applied for another
university scholarship exam in which that scholarship was sponsored by World
Bank with Cambodian government. That university was named University of
Cambodia (UC). There were a lot of students applied for that scholarship as the
whole country, thousands of students. Some of my friends also applied for that
scholarship, but they were not lucky enough to win that, except me who could
win that scholarship among other 500 winners.
So, I studied three universities at the same time
Buddhist Sihanuk Reach University, Paññāsāstra University, and University of Cambodia
for the whole day in which in the morning I went to study at Buddhist Sihanuk
Reach University (BSRU). At the afternoon I went to study at University of
University (UC) and in the evening I went to study at Paññāsāstra University of
Cambodia (PUC).
However, life has been changed from day to another, so
I met a lot of obstacles of studying three universities at once. Therefore, I
was forced to drop one and carry on other two universities are PUC and UC.
Moreover, I will let you know more about me with both institutions. Actually, I
needed to tell you why I had to drop Buddhist
University, so I needed to conclude Buddhist University in my education section.
Actually, university life is every hard for me because
I have to think before I decide to do anything. What important is that I do not
have money to pay for university tuition fee, so I choose to study at
university which provides me scholarship rather paying money. Fortunately I won
a scholarship from University of Cambodia (UC) for a completed BA, four years. I
think everyone knows how hard it is for university students who lack of money
but wish to further their education. Both universities that I took my steps are
free for UC and partial scholarship for PUC, so I do not need to pay all among
of money.
2.3.1 Preah Sihanuk Reaj Buddhist University
After I finished my Buddhist high
school and got diploma I was allowed to apply for any scholarship at Buddhist
University, so I wanted to apply for that scholarship because I did not have
money to pay for private university tuition fee. Actually, I never thought of
living in Phnom Penh because I did not know Phnom Penh and I just came to Phnom Penh at first time when I took Buddhist
high school exam in 2009.
Of course, I would like to take major
in English, but I did not know that English is the major of foreign language in
which it had Pali and Sanskrit. I took that major for only foundation year. I
studied in that university only one year. Actually, I got the certificate of
foundation year. After one year at Buddhist University I got bored with teaching and
educating styles, so I stopped studying there. At first, I expected that I
would get good knowledge when I attended Buddhist University,
but I lost my hope with what I was educated.
This time, I met a lot of good
friends who shared something with me such taste of life and standard of living
or the original life. We always exchanged ideas.
2.3.2 Pãññāsastra University of Cambodia
Throughout
my education since I started my school life I wished to get good education at
famous institution, but I did not know where I could get money to pay for that
institution tuition fee. Pãññāsastra University of Cambodia is a university which
I aimed to get education because I heard that Pãññāsastra University of Cambodia
is a good university in Cambodia
and I can get both skill and English knowledge.
After I got
Buddhist high diploma I wished to study at Pãññāsastra University of Cambodia,
but I could not go directly to university level in which I had to take task in
order to get to know my English knowledge level. I took English task and got
level three. I had to spend some months to finish my English skill and I have
to know English well because at university level I would be taught all subject
in English. They used English as a bridge of teaching.
I spent
three months for level 3 and another three months for level 4 in which I got level 4
diploma for my achievement at English skill. After 6 months of getting more
knowledge in English skill I was allowed to attend another course which was
called ABC course. In this course
I was taught about around taking major information. After students listened to this
course they could choose the right major in which that major is right for their
knowledge and talent.
There were
a lot of things conflicts happening around my ideas in which I chose for
English major, but what I wanted is that I wanted to take major in education
because I want to teach rather than work in other fields. However, I decided to
choose major in TESOL because this major matches with my talent.
Even though
I chose to further my education at Pãññāsastra University of Cambodia, I have
to pay for tuition fee in which I get that among of money from a group of
American family who want to sponsor me in getting more education. At IEPA level
I just paid 160 $ per level but when I attended BA class I had to pay among
215$ per semester and 160$ for summer course. Actually, I met a lot of obstacles in studying
in BA class because I have plenty of work to do such as assignment or homework
and especially, giving the presentation.
Moreover, I
am satisfied with what I have done at Pãññāsastra University of Cambodia.
However, I met different kinds of lecturers who provided us hope and hopeless,
sometimes. Different people have different ideas. Until now I am broke and I do
not have enough money to pay for tuition fee next terms, so I do not know I
will be able to attend class or not. Now I am the third year student. I expect
that I will graduate in early 2014 and I will also continue my education in
majoring in TESOL if I will have chance I will find any scholarship abroad.
After I decided
not to accept any sponsor from Dorothy Gist, PUC tuition fee was increased from
215$ per semester to 288$ per semester. Then, I had no idea about my education
anymore in which I should stop or continue it. When the new term started and I
also had to register for new term, but before I was allowed to register I was
asked to go the scholarship office in order to get the payment check because I
got partial scholarship. Luckily, when I went to meet Dr. …at the scholarship
office he provided me full scholarship. He told me no need to pay and I started
to think why he provided my like that. I think because I always went to meet
him every semester and I was never later for asking payment check in order to
pay my partial tuition fee.
Fortunately,
I got full scholarship at PUC during I had planned to suspend my education
because I did not have money to pay for. When I was Buddhist monk I was
sponsored by Dorothy Gist’s family, but after I left monkhood I thought that I
had to depend on my own self. I meant I had to learn how to live by myself. I
also want to thank my sponsor, Dorothy Gist and her family for sponsoring me
during my stay and study in Phnom Penh over three years. When I got full
scholarship I continued my study again without suspending it.
Semester by
semester, I meet many approachable and motivated teachers and lecturers who
help me to struggle in life. Especially, they try to motivate me to change my
life through starting my own business or starting teaching. They provide me a
lot of strategies how to teach students in which my major is Teaching English
to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL). Furthermore, PUC also provide me chance
to apply for teaching job at PUC Foreign Languages Institute. However, I have
to study hard and improve English proficiency day by day because I will be a
teacher of English in the near future.
I expect
that I would live better after I left monkhood, but it is difficult to live
with no job and no left-money and I do not also have anybody supporting me. My
life is still worse, but I am never hopeless. I think one day I will be better
than this. I also expect that after I graduate from PUC I will be able to apply
for teaching job at PUC Foreign Languages Institute.
Nearly the
end of 2012, I am happy very much my study’s result at PUC. This is because I
meet real teachers when I enrolled into the class. Starting from this semester,
I left 10 subjects which it will take around two semesters and a summer course.
I expect to graduate in the early 2014.
However, I
do not have enough money to pay for my documents because I have no income. I
think that I will be able to live by myself, but of course, I cannot live
without any helping during studying at both universities.
2.3.3 University of Cambodia
Throughout
modern globalization era, Cambodian students always think that they should get
more than one BA degree, so I also have desire to find another scholarship to
get one more BA and in that time, University of Cambodia announced the
scholarship for high school students who just finished high school in 2009
while I just completed my Buddhist high school in 2009, too. Actually, I have
chance to apply for that scholarship, not only me but my friends also applied
for that scholarship, too.
All
students who just finished high school had chance to apply for that
scholarship, so there were over two thousand students who attracted to that
scholarship. When I saw a lot of students apply for that scholarship I lost my
hope, but I never hopeless in my life. I expected that I would be among 500
scholarship students. While I attended at the exam class I got nervous. When I
did the exam I did not know the answer, but fortunately I could overcome
general knowledge section in which those questions were about Cambodia history, kings, and
temples. Actually, I was familiar with those question because I used to teach Cambodia
history which connected with when temples were built and which kings.
After the
exam I did not have hope to win that scholarship and I had also attend other
two universities, Preah Sehanouk Reaj Buddhist University and Paññāsāstra
University of Cambodia. However, a few weeks later I went to see the result of
my scholarship exam I was absolutely happy with what I have done whereas my
friends did not have chance to win that scholarship. So, I was studying three universities
at the time, but what important is that I did not have enough ability to study
three universities at once.
When I won a
scholarship at University of Cambodia I majored it in International Relations
(IR) in which I was interested in it every much. I expected that I would gain a
lot of knowledge because International Relations connected with international
politics and economy. Actually, I gain plenty of knowledge after I complete my
BA, majoring in International Relations. During my time at university I met a
lot of good lecturers who had enough knowledge and experiences.
During my
studying and living in Phnom Penh, I met a lot of difficulties in living. Of
course, I got sick very often and I did not have enough energy for studying. I
was always tired at the evening after classes. I had enough money to live, but
I was not allowed to eat food from 12 o’clock at noon until the sun rises.
However, I had two challenges to continue my monkhood. The first was that my UC
was changed its location to the west of Phnom Penh about 10 kilometers. When I
went to study there I had to ask motor taxi to drive me there and I needed to
pay them money. So, I spent more than previous year. In the other hand, I
studied there for the whole day and I could not find the place to eat.
Sometimes I cooked my meal from my place and kept it for my lunch time. I could
not quit my UC because I was in year IV.
I used to
be the best undergraduate students at UC for one semester at 2011. I thought
that my major at UC will be able to help me to work in the government
institution. Even though government work is not good both payment and condition
I need to work there because it will help me to support my teaching job.
Whatever I like is teaching job. If I will be able to teach at university is the
best time for me to share knowledge and I will also be able to help poor family
students to further their education by helping them to find scholarship. November
18, 2012, I am in term 8 at UC, so I will graduate very soon. I expect that
graduate on October 2013.
3. Work Experience
Wherever we live we always do something for living and
I had also worked to gain some interests in which I worked in various jobs such
as a Teacher of English, Morality educator, and Office Assistant.
While I was staying in Vat Damnak, I also volunteered
to work as a teacher of English and office assistance at Life and Hope
Association (LHA) for four years in which I could got some profit within these
work to support my study and besides teaching for LHA, I also taught some Vat
Damnak Buddhist monks who wanted to learn English because of my hard work with
study I could do teaching job after a few years of learning English.
Not only teaching Buddhist monks in Vat Damnak I also
taught for Life and Hope Association in English Department, for English class
to young and adult students. Actually, I could earn some to pay for my English
classes within this kind of work. I could exchange that among of money for my
own knowledge. Teaching is the best way to learn. When I had chance to teach I
also had chance to learn new things in which I could improve my teaching skill
and English proficiency. When I had good opportunity I tried to enlarge my
experience and knowledge.
In that time, I was also studying more than one
language in which I studied English, Spanish, Korean, and some Thai. It
was a bit hard, but I had a great desire to become a tour guide in Siem Reap,
so being a tour guide should know more than one language. During my study time
in Siem Reap I knew a lot of good friends who convinced me to be a good person
in Siem Reap society. I mean that if I am Siem Reap people I should have good
knowledge in foreign language in order to survive in the globalization era.
Siem Reap is a place where foreigners want to come and see and is also a famous
place for Cambodia.
At first, I wanted to live in Siem Reap because I
thought that after I became a tour guide in Siem Reap I would earn a lot of
among of money, but later on I changed my perspective in life. I wanted to
further my education and had desire to be a professor. If I could be a
professor I provided good knowledge to younger generations. However, Cambodia
is lack of human resource recent years in order to compete with ASEAN countries
because in 2015 ASEAN countries will integrate ASEAN to be one community and
one destiny, so human resource is important for Cambodia which Cambodia has to
develop rapidly. I also involve with Cambodia in human resource sector
if I can involve myself in educational profession. Of course, if I can be a skill
and talented professor in any skills.
I not only taught English to young Cambodians who
wanted to develop their lives, I also taught morality to young Cambodian
students at primary school. During my stay at Vat Damnak, I was invited to
teach morality and life skill to young primary school students. I was happy
that I could participate with this career because I am Cambodia and I also helped Cambodia to develop her human
resource. I enjoyed teaching since 2002 when I taught English to Buddhist monks
in Vat Damnak.
Even though I came to live in Phnom Penh, I also found
chance to teach English for my friends. I mean that I shared my English
knowledge with my friends and I helped them a lot with English language in the
purpose of finding any scholarship. I had difficulties to live as monkhood in
Phnom Penh because there were many pressures from both external and internal
factors. So, I decided to leave monkhood in November 11, 2011.
After I left monkhood, I found hard to apply for a job
as an English as Second Language Teacher because I was not good at it and I
also did have many friends in Phnom Penh. However, I tried to apply my application
for teaching career until I got one at Phnom Penh International Language School
(PPILS). I had taught there for eight months. When I moved my rent house to the
south of Phnom Penh capital city about 10 kilometers, so I resigned that
teaching job and I tried to find another which was near my rent house. Why did
I find other job besides teaching? Actually, I would like to help other young
generation by providing education and I also took my BA at PUC in TESOL.
When I was in year IV at PUC, my lecturers also
recommended me to apply for a teaching job because it would help me to improve
my capacity in teaching career. I started to apply for teaching job again, but
I could not find the good one because teaching is very difficult to find and
there were not many schools in Phnom Penh. However, I only could find the part
time teaching job at International Chun Hak School. I taught there only one
hour per day. In that class, some students did not listen to me and they always
did bad action in the class such as speak loudly and shout to each other.
However, I had tried to teach them both morality and language. I wanted to pay
attention to my teaching. Even though I tried to convince and motivate them
learn they still acted badly in class. They sometimes wanted to play game
instead of learning the language. I was hard to adjust my lesson plan with what
they wanted. When I provided them homework, they came to class without doing
the exercises. They always accused that they were tired or busy with their
school work. I had no idea about that.
All in all, I have good experience in teaching, and I
also experienced a lot of obstacles and challenges during my teaching. However,
my work will teach me how to solve those problems and I had also learnt more
about those things. What important is that we are the people need more
knowledge. We have enough capacity to get knowledge, but we lack of professional
teachers.
4. Interests
I have many
interests in my life, but the most important is politics. When I attended
university class I took major in TESOL because I thought that teaching is the
essential way to help me and Cambodians to develop human resource. However,
what I like is not TESOL, but what I like is politics. I enjoy hearing people
say about politics rather than something else.
Actually, I
am interested in politics because politics is everything around us and whatever
we do or whatever we will do politics will involve with it, so politics always
affects to our daily lives. Every day I am happy to listen to political story. However,
I do not want to be politician, but what I want to be is a teacher or
professor. When I participate in politics my life will be danger, so the best way
to live in a happy life is being a professor who provides good knowledge to
young generations and generations.
In my
interest section, I would also like to express about my hobby in which I also
like watching television in the discovery channel and natural geographical
channel in which they provide me a lot of wonderful stories that I never think
of. Previous time, I liked read books rather than doing something else. If I
had books to read I was happy, but now I do not have enough time to read books.
I take my time to earn some money for my living instead of reading books. However,
studying and reading is the best way to expands knowledge, but if we do not
have thing to eat how we live on this earth.
In short, what
I am interested in is politics and social justice in which wherever there is
social disorder I always observe such land dispute between citizens and private
companies, especially, land grabbing from authority officials. However,
politics is the best story to investigate the social order or issues. If
politicians treat their people badly we will know and do something against
those policies.
5. Ambition and Perspective toward Life
Life is absolutely crucial for us to take care, however, at the end of
life, we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much
money we have made, how many great things we have done, we will judged by that
I am hungry and you give me to eat, I am naked and you clothe me, and I am
homeless and you take me in. Hungry not only for bread, but hungry for love,
naked not only for clothing, but naked for human dignity and respect, and
homeless not only for want a room of brick, but homeless because rejection.
Everyone has their own ambitions and perspective toward life. For me, my
ambition is that I want to be a professor in the near future. Actually,
everyone also wants to be rich and I also want to be rich, but rich in the good
aspect and live in the happy life with good knowledge.
We are what we think! So, we have to develop our positive mental attitude
in which life will be better according to our thought if we think with positive
mental attitude we will have good aspect of life, but if we think with negative
mental attitude we will have bad aspect of life. I also want to found an
association to help young generation to find a good education support.
We are poor is not our mistake or we are poor not because
of us. We are poor because of our father never develops the desire to be rich.
It means that if our father never tells us to have desire to be rich, how we
become rich. Our father has to tell us how to live, how to work, and how to
learn, earn money to be rich. However, if our father keeps quiet we will know
nothing. Parents have the duty and obligation to educate and bring up children
to be well-educated. Actually, since we are born our parents are always waiting
to tell us what to do, how to do, and when to do. Why we have to go to school
because our father always teaches us to be rich. It is not enough for us that
only our father teaches us. We need more teachers and more skill
